Dude, this is not what I want

Makin hari hidup makin membosankan. Duduk dekat rumah pun semua macam strangers. All the happiness are gone. Since umi pun busy with her business, everybody busy with their own life. Me myself just wasting my time with stuff Im not supposed to do. Why can`t we just go back in time, the old times where theres no conflict, no problem to think. Why can`t I just be a 5years-old girl who has another world to be happy ? Why can`t I be happy without thinking will I am be happy tomorrow or day after tomorrow ? Can I get back the light that makes my life brighter than others ? Yet still I know, the light didn`t come easily. I have to find it back. Its not I have, but I Must ! Surviving the half-life to overcome the weakness. I have to be strong. Im 18years-old now. Im a year older now. I have to face those things to make my life happier. I believe ; THERE IS ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN. Don`t worry, be happy. You are strong enough to face this craps Insyirah Nur. Just make it better and everything gonna be okay :) Insyaallah !